


Not So Stupid After All

by Jawsforsure



Series: If wishes were horses: "What if...?" [3]
Category: British Actor RPF, Sherlock (TV)
Genre: "Somethin' Stupid", F/M, Robbie Williams and Nicole Kidman, Songfic, but I don't sing very well, hopeless fluff, shameless self insert
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-09
Updated: 2013-01-09
Packaged: 2017-11-24 05:39:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,055
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/631036
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jawsforsure/pseuds/Jawsforsure
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Your posh friend's local is doing a karaoke night and he signed you up to sing your favourite duet. Unfortunately he backs out and makes you sing this unbelievably romantic song with a complete (albeit goodlooking) stranger. </p><p>Well maybe not a complete stranger.</p><p>SHAMELESS FLUFF. Some swearing. Somethin' Stupid.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Not So Stupid After All

**Author's Note:**

> Another of my "What if" stories, the shameless daydreaming of my medical ethics classes...  
> I don't own Benedict Cumberbatch, I don't know him at all, I got within 4feet of him at a Cabin Pressure recording and nearly passed out with excitement. Please don't take this seriously.
> 
> Something Stupid - Written by C. Carson Parks and performed by Robbie Williams+ Nicole Kidman
> 
> Britishisms  
> local = pub local to where you live and where you tend to frequent most often  
> bogged down = usually with work, chores, things to go. Encumbered, you literally feel heavy with them, there's so much to do.

_I know I stand in line_   
_Until you think you have the time_   
_To spend an evening with me_

"Come ON Toni, this is the third time you've cancelled on me in the past two months! I never get to see you anymore!"

My friend's voice complained loudly down the phone, made even more annoying by the tinny sound of my speakerphone. I sighed loudly, pausing in flipping through my work. 

"Or are you, still, you know, avoiding me?"

I winced. God he sounded really hurt. 

" 'Cos you know, I don't see a reason for you to. I _told_ you I got over that ages ago and it's not like it would matter now..."

I winced again, Gabriel's voice trailed off as he realised what he said. My ex hadn't appreciated Gabriel's "small, only a little one Toni!" huge, years-long crush on me, and hadn't liked me seeing him. Course, now we weren't together, that didn't make a difference at all. 

"Yeah, I know, but honestly I am completely bogged down with work, and I haven't exactly been feeling up to a night out yet, it's not the same single."

His voice softened.

"Oh honey I understand, but it's good to start early, get back on that horse! And I promise, it'll be totally low key, we'll go to The Green Man and have a mulled cider or something. I'll buy, baby girl."

Resolve melting with the promise of free booze and Green Man.

"You better be, you're earning more at the moment, hotshot. See ya at half eight."

* * *

_And if we go someplace to dance_

_I know that there's a chance_

_You won't be leaving with me_

"This won't exactly be a quiet night, Gabes."

The Green Man was the busiest I'd ever seen it. It's a charming little pub on the outskirts of Regent's Park, right behind the Great Portland Street station, and miraculously had managed to avoid becoming a tourist trap. It was all warm oaky wood, booths filled with overstuffed cushions and tiny leather ottomans, old London Underground posters hung on the wall. Gabriel had gone to uni in Regent's College, literally a five minute walk away in the park, and had managed to afford to live in the same area as a professional. We'd always met here, the entertaining combination of yuppies, creatives and old money who ignored each other disdainfully, some bloody good bartenders and reasonable pricing had helped us part with a substantial amount of our student loans.

Course, now when I wanted a quiet drink or two and a good old moan, it was chock full of people and some classic rock was playing on the old speakers. Gabriel's face lit up.

"I forgot, Wednesday's now karaoke night! It's pretty new, they've only been doing it a few months, guess it slipped my mind. Everyone loves it, tons of women come in in big groups, smashed and singing ABBA."

A lecherous glint came into his eye, and I rolled mine. Skirt-chaser, and an inveterate one, Gabes hasn't had a girlfriend since I spilt a Bloody Mary down Slutty Katia's white leather minidress, my third year of uni.

To be fair if you wear a white leather minidress, you're asking for it.

"Well don't let me cramp your style, I'll just slip away when you find your latest conquest. Or I could wingman for you, they always seem to respond well to a women."

I was a bit hurt, but should have expected it. He snorted.

"Don't be silly babes, it's our catch-up night. Just us, _mano e....womano_."

Couldn't help it, I giggled. 

"That's m'girl, now let's sign you up, I know you live for karaoke. And get some drinks."

 

_Then afterwards we drop into a quiet little place_   
_And have a drink or two_

Expensive rose for me, cheap beer for Gabriel, a table with a good view of the stage and I was mellowing out. This was fun, back with one of my best mates, a nice evening out, and making fun of other people. To be fair to them, they were a damn sight better than the usual karaoke fare, helped by the owner, Adam, turning the microphone down if they went offkey too much. Gabriel was surveying the bar hopefully and had already lined up a curvy blonde who was giggling her way through something fruity and becoming less coherent with each passing minute. 

"Having fun, babes?"

"Yeah, I am actually, thanks for it, I did need a break. You going to work up the balls to talk to blondie over there?"

"Hey, I don't need to 'work up the balls', I am going to talk to her...when the timing is right."

"When she's drunk, you mean."

"It's always worked for me, beautiful drunk girls."

He smiled at me over the top of the beer glass and I laughed, remembering our one drunken kiss aged seventeen and his ensuing crush.

"Keep telling yourself that, hotshot."

He leaned back expansively.

"I'll tell blondie that when I go speak to her, during your number."

"WHAT?!"

_And then I go and spoil it all_   
_By saying something stupid_

Okay it was just bad timing the bar quieted down at that point. I flushed hotly (damn my ginger heritage! Dad you were useless)  and turned to Gabriel again, taking a sip of the wine and speaking more softly.

"I thought we were doing a duet? You said 'Somethin' Stupid' ?"

He still looked supremely relaxed, infuriating bastard.

 "You are, I'm not going to ruin your pretty voice with my shite awful one. Look, Toni, don't worry, they pair you up with someone, you know, like a blind date thing. But singing! Totally cool."

"A romantic duet, my favourite one, with a stranger, like a blind date. How is this cool?! I hate you."

_Like I love you_

_  
_"Love you too babes, now you're on in two numbers, so if you want some more Dutch courage I suggest the bar and a whiskey coke."

One of these days I'll kill him.

* * *

Standing on the makeshift stage, all eyes on me, palms sweaty on the microphone. Adam's winking at me and calling out like an auctioneer.

"So who wants to sing 'Somethin' Stupid' with the lovely Antonia, it's a beautiful song with a beautiful lady. Come on gentlemen, only those with the nicest voices for one of our favourite customers."

Silence. God, how embarassing. No one wants to sing with me and not bloody surprising. I look awful, short and frizzy and red faced and I made a fool of myself earlier and...

"Good choice sir, our Antonia sings like a canary! Come here and I'll give you this mic, now the words will be up in a second."

"Oh it's fine, I don't need them."

A tall slender man had pushed his way past the crowd and was fidgeting with the mic, flicking it over between his fingers. He glanced at me.

"Oh, um sorry, that's to say, do you need them?"

I nodded dumbly, and he flashed a quick smile, all the way up to the eyes, which were a brilliant green in this light, under his black urchin cap and wisps of ginger poking out. He shoved the sleeves of his leather jacket out the way and attempted to perch on the stool.The dreamy instrumental started and tugged at my chest, a lot of women sighed appreciatively but I was counting feverishly, wanting to be ready.

Our first note and he turned to me, fixing me with a piercing stare, large feline eyes and I was trapped, a deer in the headlights.

_I can see it in your eyes_

My heart fluttered. The little I could see of him was Gorgeous, with a capital G, just the silhouette of his arse warranted a stare.  And I'd missed the 1st line, quick thinking quick thinking, let's do it in sections I thought frantically and broke in the next bit, "And if we go someplace..." Thankfully he caught on and rolled with it smoothly. 

Somehow the words were coming out alright, but it was my favourite song and I could probably sing it in my sleep. Doing it this way, slightly impromptu, meant that I could really listen to the mystery man's voice, deep and smooth, like chocolate, it was perfect. And I was still staring at him vacantly, not the most attractive. I dragged my eyes away and looked under my lashes flirtatiously, trying to look seductive.

_You still despise the same old lines_   
_You heard the night before_

I looked up at him again, there was definitely a note of amusement in them, apart from them being perfectly delivered in that delicious rumble. So I put a little bit of sway into it, added the growl in the lower notes. His eyes widened and I felt a flutter and heat spread inside, just behind my ribcage. Those eyes, like a predator, a big cat, still fixed on my face. 

  
_And though it's just a line to you_   
_For me it's true_   
_And never seemed so right before_

He whipped his hat off impatiently and unzipped his jacket one-handedly. He was getting better and better looking, and also slightly...familiar. He joined in with me on the bridge, so were singing harmony, a little unexpected but surprisingly easy.

 _I practice every day to find some clever_ _lines to say_  
 _To make the meaning come true_

It was a visceral reaction to him, this dizziness and almost like a thunderstorm was coming, eyes on each other and singing exactly the same words. And with the quirky hat taken off, I could see how gorgeous his curls were, and the strong elegant line of his neck. It would just be his luck that he was ginger and sexy with it, pale skin echoed in his delicate/strong wrists and hands. 

_But then I think I'll wait until the evening_   
_gets late_   
_And I'm alone with you_

_  
_I could feel myself going red again, the idle thought of me and this unbelievably gorgeous man _ahem_ alone _ahem_ in the evening _ahem_ in bed, oh dear.

_The time is right_   
_Your perfume fills my head_   
_The stars get red_   
_And oh the night's so blue_

  
He was moving closer, bridging the not-very-large gap between us, my mouth suddenly dry. And then he was stroking my free wrist with a large strong hand (gulp) and a playful half smile around the corner of his mouth. Heart pounding even faster, he tugged gently on it and we were face to face. Audience almost forgotten, just us two, singing to each other. 

_And then I go and spoil it all_   
_By saying something stupid_   
_Like I love you_

His eyes were gazing into mine, electricity running between us, and his warm hand entwined with mine and the way his mouth formed those three little words. The streetlight was just catching under his cheekbones, making him look ethereal, and hopefully with the instrumental I could gaze some more, but no such luck. He swept me into a loose dance hold for a few steps,   his hand on my hip and the warmth of his body pressed against mine. Unluckily he released me to do the refrain, dizzy and lightheaded, and he trapped my gaze again for the last three lines, looking me dead in the eye and delivering it completely straight faced.

Almost like he meant it...

The applause was thunderous and there were plenty of wolf whistles, and I'm certain I heard Gabriel yell "That's my girl!" Adam rushed on to take away the mic's

"Give it up for Antonia and Ben, folks! What an amazing couple!"

More applause, but I was dumbfounded. Ben?! Is that why he's so familiar? Did I just sing a romantic, sexually charged duet with Benedict CUMBERBATCH?!?

"Ben" still had my hand and kissed it briefly (more wolf whistles) and said to my dumbstruck face

"Lovely singing with you, you really have a talent. Thanks so much."

And turned to melt back into the crowd.

 

* * *

 

 

_The time is right_   
_Your perfume fills my head_   
_The stars get red_   
_And oh the night's so blue_

I didn't stop to think, I turned and ran after him, grabbing his hat from the floor as I went. 

"Wait! Wait! Ben? Wait! Please." 

He kept going, pushing through to the bar.

"Ben, wait, please, I've got your hat."

Ha, that stopped him! He came to a grinding halt just before the bar and I nearly crashed into him. Damn good thing I was wearing my motorbike boots and not heels, that would've been embarassing. He rubbed his ginger curls (that is a hell of a good look on him, wowsa) ruefully and smiled slightly sheepishly.

"Thanks, I love that hat, I'd be devastated to lose it." 

"No worries, you're welcome."

Awkward silence.

"Uhm, so why did you run off so fast back there? Was I that terrible?"

I tried to make it light-hearted but it came out a bit hurt and flat. He looked at me, shocked.

"No, no, not at all! You're amazing, I love that song by the way, although Robbie hasn't got a patch on Sinatra."

"Yeah but Nancy hasn't got a patch on Nicole Kidman, so I had to go for Robbie over Frank, unfortunately."

He smiled.

"True, true. Now, to apologise for me being so awful there, can I get you a drink, Antonia, right?"

He looked oddly hopeful, a bit like a dachshund puppy.

"Everyone calls me Toni, and that's fine, no harm done. I'm just pleased someone competent agreed to sing with me, so thanks, but I'll go back to my friend."

He deflated a bit. 

"Yeah sure, course, but really, the pleasure's all mine, understand you want to go back to your friends. Lovely to meet you Toni."

"Bye Ben, nice to meet you as well."

Ohmigod I sang with Benedict Cumberbatch!! Inside I was squealing like a 12-year old and couldn't wait to tell Gabriel, but I could see him at the table with a certain blonde, and he was moving in for the kill.

Right, split decision time. I gamely turned back to "Ben" and smiled my killer wattage smile, suppressing the nervous flutters.

"Actually, a drink would sound lovely. I'll have what you're having, as long as it's not too fruity or girly."

"Whiskey and coke?"

"God, perfect."

* * *

"Ben" was surprisingly good conversation for a wildly successful actor who was incredibly famous, and I was shocked no one noticed him. But to be fair, no one expects to see a famous Hollywood actor in a dark cosy pub, wearing battered jeans and a well-loved leather jacket, his Converse actually had holes in them! I smiled into my second whiskey coke, clearly he hadn't been taking LA style advice, it was more like camoflage. 

_And then I go and spoil it all_

_By saying something stupid_

He was staring at me very intently

"What? Something on my face?"

He leaned forward on the stool (heart beating faster, flush starting at the back of my neck) and very delicately brushed a few stray hairs out of my lipgloss.

"Oh, thanks, sorry."

"Sorry, just noticed them."

He started to move his hand back, but changed his mind and tucked my hair behind my ear, sending not at all unpleasant shivers down my spine. He paused, uncertain, then before I could act or react or move or pucker up or anything he cupped the back of my neck firmly and kissed me.

It was delicate, gentle, a lingering press of his angled cupid's bow along my parted lips and it set my skin on fire.

He started to pull away, caressing my face as he drew away and I reacted, unwillingly to let him get away that easily. I pressed our lips together more firmly, using my right hand to draw him closer. And I wasn't happy with that gentle caress, I put some passion into the kiss, Ben responded enthusiastically, and I even surprised a stifled moan out of him with a nibble on his full lower lip.

We ended up breathless and slightly rumpled, Adam giving us a few evils, and we settled back into our seats again, both shaking our curls out.

"So, uhm."

"Yeah, uh."

"Well then."

And then I dissolved into giggles at our sudden tongue-tiedness, which Ben joined in, a lovely chuckle. 

"It was certainly nice meeting you, Toni!"

Which set us both off again, and we finished with gazes locked again, heat between us. Ben looked a bit nervous.

"Look, I know you're not the kind of girl who does this, so I'm not going to ask you, but I'm just saying as much as I'd like to invite you round tonight for another drink, I really can't, I came on my motorbike. So don't be offended, I promise I do really like you, and I want to meet up again, definitely."

My heart skipped a beat. He wants to meet up again? He wanted to take me home? The part of my brain I like to think of as Slutty Toni piped up with "don't let him get away!"

"Well if you've got an extra helmet and I wouldn't mind riding pillion. I am wearing my proper boots and jacket, I've got my jeans in my bag."

He looked startled.

"I ride a Vespa, but I left it at my friend's, so I'll pick it up later. That is, if the invitation's still open?"

His eyes seemed to darken and he almost growled.

"Oh God yes."

And he grabbed my hand, pulling me swiftly through the pub  to the exit. I heard an amused voice from within.

"Now Toni, don't do anything I wouldn't...not that that narrows it down much."

And I took the extra four seconds to give Gabriel the finger before I ran after Ben.

* * *

I love London on a bike, it's got its own special charm, dark streets and rain and streetlights and crowds. It's almost better being a pillion so you can concentrate properly on the streets. Not that I could concentrate that well with my legs around Ben and his humming into our (very fancy) helmet intercoms. At least it was a good song.

_Like I love you_   
_I love you..._


End file.
